There are times when sometimes you wonder about the universe. Because it can be so fucking wonderful and so fucking shit at the same time. I honestly try every single day to find the good. And I always do. Like the whales yesterday off the Maroubra headland. And the black lorikeets today. Nature truly can lift the soul.
Today was quite ordinary though. My bus was MIA for half an hour. The silver fox driving it looked perplexed when I asked about the tracker that connects to the app not being activated. Eyes were rolled (his, not mine because I’m not disrespectful like that) and I decided to move right along.
Some challenges presented themselves a bit later resulting in me needing a bit of a drink at around 3pm but one simply does not roll a glass of champers at that time of the afternoon on a Wednesday. So I took the dog for a walk.
Now all of you that have had eyes on Koda I sadly inform you that you need to stand down because he has found his great love. Six weeks ago another Goldie called Lily moved into the area. People have remarked that they have watched these two together and it’s as if no-one else exists. This is true. Another truth is that Lily has the devil in her most of the time and takes to torturing her gorgeous mother.
It was Jolina’s birthday today and she was having a real shit of a day. In her 4×4 monster she clipped a smallish Fiat on South Dowling (after sitting in traffic for three hours) and didn’t realise (because she was practically catatonic from sitting in the aforementioned traffic for three hours) but the Fiat owner promptly reported her to the nearest police station. Let’s just say they didn’t call her to say Happy Birthday to you.
After frolicking with Koda for a good ten minutes the evil took hold and Lily found the thickest, blackest mud to lie down in. She was like Topdeck. But black underneath. And then she promptly jumped on Koda who then became like upside down Topdeck. Jolina was going to cry. But one simply doesn’t cry on one’s birthday. I had a “fuck this” moment and told her we were taking the dog’s swimming in the Mahon Pools. She looked at me like I was a crazy person. Because there are big signs like this everywhere.
I told her to just follow. These were desperate times. And it was her birthday for God’s sake.
And then they refused to jump in. To the child that left his ball down there we bless you for your foresight. Jolina threw it in which sparked some interest from Lily who approached the edge of the pool cautiously. Jolina was quick to kick her in the arse, straight into the pool. Like a boss. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t howling with laughter at this point. Koda is more of a follower than a leader so boom! in he went. Monkey see, monkey do. I hauled both out by their collars because getting in was easier than getting out it seemed. And just like that we had too perfectly gold, golden retrievers. This is what #winning looked like today. And man, oh man was I feeling a bit better.
So were Lily and Koda (I think). They are smiling, no?
The wayward Lily was immediately leashed as observed in this picture. We are only stupid once.
And strange, but true everyone felt better. We laughed like lunatics, saw some more whales, shared some deep, dark truths about making life less stressful.
I know I have said this many times over, but this dog has changed my life, not only bringing me perspective but also allowing me to meet some beautiful people.
Keep it real people – life’s too short.
Love and light
The thing about week one is that you go back in with the best intentions. The best intentions of remaining zen like post your holiday and managing things without getting that tight chest feeling, red face and burny eyes.
You have had some time off, you’ve started to reclaim your fitness, done yoga regularly, spent time with the family and the sun, and man, you’re feeling good.
You go back with the best intentions. It lasts almost to the end of the fourth day. And then BAM!!!!!!
And you feel like you’ve regressed. Major fail.
Couple that with finding a lost dog at 6.30pm that night and not being able to catch it and knowing it’s terrified and thirsty and exhausted and it eventually disappears and you drive around for half an hour to no avail. I now know what looking for a needle in a haystack feels like. Like I might have had more luck with the needle and the haystack.
And FYI peeps – the police stations and fire stations don’t have a clue what to do when you call up and ask who to call about a lost dog and if you happen to catch it – where can you take it? Frustrating and upsetting all round. Burny eyes.
I have to stop myself from driving around looking for him today because I know that literally he could be anywhere. I have to hope that some good samaritan did catch him and keep him safe for the night before going to the local vet to check for a microchip. He had no collar. Why people why???? Look after your dogs properly – don’t roll the dice. It’s not fair on the animal or the people trying to get him home before dark.
I’m going to sign off now and pull myself out of this stink eye of a mood. The sun is shining and life is good. Repeat. I found this one on Pinterest. Not a bad thought.
Love and light
There’s an African greeting from home that’s swimming around in my head. At school we learned Zulu and the very first word taught was “Sawubona” which literally translated means “I see you”. It’s an acknowledgement that the person exists. Not just a hello but a way to say I am looking at you to see how you are.
Three small words, “I. See. You”.
With this in my mind I’ve had cause to reflect on those we really see and who really sees us.
Some things I know for sure. The people closest to us often don’t. Perhaps it’s the familiarity of the relationships – the voice that’s become like white noise, instead of one that counts. And while it makes me question whether one should only present a happy sparkly self – I know everyone’s got their shit and inevitably, life goes on, tomorrow’s a new day.
The people I really want to mention are those that aren’t family or necessarily very close friends but those we encounter as part of our every day life. They sometimes take more than a brief second to empathise with us and actually stop and connect. Even though they don’t have to. It’s that “I see you” moment that means everything. Everything. Its the acknowledgement that I heard the stress in your voice when you ordered coffee, I saw the look in your eye when you said hello. It’s a reason to carry on. To have a bit of faith in others. You know who they are, and personally, to me, you know who you are.
So, to those out there who do take the time to shelve their own shit, leave judgement wherever it belongs and look people in the eye and give them a voice – I hope you know the good you do.
It keeps people putting one foot in front of the other.
So perhaps you’ll go into the new week keeping this post in mind and being the person that says Sawubona, or at the very least appreciating the other person that does.
I feel like Lara Croft in Tomb Raider – landmines everywhere. (I haven’t actually seen the movie but it looks like this is very much the case).
Similarly, I’m getting my arse grazed everywhere by exploding situations. And I’m going to need a new colon at the end of it, or at the very least a donut cushion.
The poor ladies and gents at work – I don’t even know how to start apologising – their virgin ears are no longer.
I’m not much better at home. A bit shouty apparently. My father pointed out that it can’t be easy to live with me at the moment. I had to agree – I don’t even want to be with me. I strike fear in my own heart.
And the poor Artist Formerly Known As – offered me a cup of tea last night at 6.30. Apparently I didn’t have WINE tattooed on my forehead. A suggestion that perhaps tea would serve me better went down like a lead balloon, followed by scattering and the appearance of a large glass of white. Magic this shouty stuff.
Tried to earn back some points today with Miss12 who is getting braces fitted in a few weeks. The back story is that I scheduled on a Monday morning after giving the orthodontist major grief about the time of the appointment and how he’s a complete shit not to start work at 7am. Turns out it’s a religious holiday for us Jewish peeps and my office is closed as is the kids school. I had also growled at Miss12 when scheduling that she would be a-okay to go to school and to man up.
So, to now appear to be the benevolent mother (that I am clearly not right now) I sent her an email to say I had decided we could go home after her braces were fitted and that she didn’t have to go to school that day.
She’s wise that one.
Didn’t even take ten minutes for the return email to read – “School’s closed that day mom, but nice try.”
So, clearly I’m fooling no-one.
And next week will be better.
Or I’ll be writing to you from a beach in Bali. My passport is current.
I am completely unafraid of Wednesday because Tuesday was the bastard of the world. Yup – to quote one of my favourite expressions, yesterday sucked dogs balls. Truly.
And today – well, it started with a 5.15am wake up because Miss 12 is off to camp in the tropical heat of Canberra and I am stressed that she is going to be out there in the freezing cold (read airconditioned bus that might veer off the road and crash in this shitty wet weather). And of course I had to kiss her goodbye (smother her with a bearhug) and beg her to take money for the vending machine in case she should die of hunger (read: need chocolate). Of course I was admonished and told that they are not allowed to use the vending machine. I have no idea who’s child she actually is because nothing on this earth would have (or ever will) stood between me and a good motel vending machine. I clearly haven’t raised a rebel of any nature.
Speaking of rebellion, the man upstairs is also having a bit of a day……I have a large event tonight at a venue not ideal for these cyclonic conditions – at this point I am wishing for a mega corporate budget so I could’ve hired the Four Seasons with its undercover valet parking. The thought of 500 women battling street parking in the Eastern Suburbs, not working so well right now. However, not for profit beggars, can’t be choosers. (Note to Him Upstairs: I’m working for charity for heaven’s sake Man – cut me some slack).
And to top it all off, the real doozy of the day is that my hair looks lousy and I’m going to have to spend the next hour washing, blow drying and then straightening it. All for naught because when it get’s a whiff of that moisture out there – rebellion is going to strike it’s heart and I am going to look like one of those girls from Pretty in Pink circa 1990 whatever.
So, all round, I got through this post without mentioning that yesterday I had murder in my heart and plotted with my friend Jeremy how we could knee cap a few people. The strategy was that he would hold them while I swung my baseball bat. (He got to hold because he is stronger than me and I got to wave the bat because the gun control laws in this country are ridiculously up tight).
Now I just have to figure out how I can get out of a business lunch today, get the sun to shine, the rain and wind to stop and the temperature to stay up at 20 degrees tonight. It should all be fine.
So yeah Wednesday. Bring it. I got you covered.
Naomi over at Seven Cherubs has encouraged me to take part in the Happiness Project. You can read more about it by following the link.
To cut a long story short, every day starting April 10 I recorded one thing about the day that made me happy.
I hope that this makes you think of one thing each day that makes you happy – even when it’s been a shithouse of a 24 hours………..
Awesome toast and coffee at The Grumpy Baker – and Miss8 played great soccer.
Lunch with the legend Leanne Moss (aka Barbie Candy) – a girl’s BFF, even if she’s sort of young enough almost to be my daughter 🙂
Meeting with inspiring young man who is driven to succeed – good to know there’s hope for the next generation
Kids made most beautiful pottery items at holiday camp – they are sweet and artistic – a mother can dream
A day working from home. True Bliss…………………
It’s Friday. That. Is. All.
Don’t judge me but I luuurveddddd the Justine Bieber movie.
Lunch with mom and dad – so good to be together.
Last day before 8 days, no bread – stuffing myself with carbs – will make any girl happy!
No work and I pull off an entire traditional meal making stuff called “charoset” from scratch. Feel like a genius Masterchef type.
There’s nothing like a good I told you so, to lift the heart.
The Twitterati made me smile today, and laugh.
The consumption of Easter Eggs is a happiness in itself – those Cadbury people outdid themselves this year. Joy!
An amazing evening with old old friends fromIsrael– there are no words to describe how good it feels to be with the familiar when you’re really 10,000 miles from home.
Puzzle-mania has struck our family – and I am genius at it.
Easter Monday – day in bed. First time this year. And kudos to the creater of the Malteser Bunny.
I can start eating bread again at sundown. Never has a pizza tasted this good. Seriously.
School holidays are over. And I survived. Enough said.
Attended Kerri Sackville’s book launch and met some beautiful Tweeps. Made my week/month/year.
I don’t have pneumonia, just a bad chest infection – this is something to be happy about. Apparently…….
Spin class – uber happy to be sweating it out on a Saturday morning with my riding crew.
Shopping at Westfieldin the City and found the perfect black daggy t’s from oneteaspoon. And the new food court on Level 5 rocks.
Went to launch of Monday Morning Cooking Club (@MMCCChickie) book launch. Had good old fashioned goss with mom in Miss 12’s class. It’s good to have a “bitch” every now and again.
Book Club with my girls, good food, good coffee, good company.
Miss8 swimming squads in new pool – Olympic size and she was like Thorpie – except she’s a small girl.
Nothing siginificant happened today – sometimes there’s happiness in that.
Lost weight at the Diet Nazi. I live to see another day.
Found a Mona Lisa puzzle at Peter’s of Kensington – doesn’t get any better than this! (I hear you all groaning – by the way. And stop rolling your eyes.)
Farewell cocktail party for uber important work person. Went flawlessly and managed to avoid a Loser of note. Many thanks to the Human Shield (even if he didn’t know it).
A day full of meetings got cancelled one by one. Sometimes happiness is sitting (hiding) in your cubicle in your office.
Spent the afternoon facepainting hundreds of kids at Randwick Race Course. Children are beautiful and make life worth living.
Naomi at Seven Cherubs – thank you for making me take the time to find something happy in each day. Sometimes when 8.30pm rolls around and you’ve been up for over 15 hours – it takes effort to think back and find that one thing. But there is always one, even if it’s just the taste of chocolate.
Love and light people xxx
I have come to the realisation that I have no clue what’s actually going on in my life, in my head and sometimes in my own house.
When you’re operating at a pace of approximately 300km/h I don’t think that it’s that unusual.
Today, I had a few hours all to myself, felt at a loss and wandered into my nearest shopping centre to browse uninterrupted. [fyi – no good deed goes unpunished and I got stuck in a dress in a change-room, the zip went up fine but contorting myself to undo it after, well that was quite impossible and was a lesson to self – make sure the attendant is actually attending in the changeroom!].
On the drive home I started thinking – because The Artist has been unbelievably irritated with me – about whether it was me (and not him – see I have the odd rational moment).
Yesterday I might have been a bit short – recovering from a chest infection and not breathing properly possibly made me snappy and unwilling to communicate/play nice.
And then I started thinking about whether I am irritable. All the time.
And all I can say is that I don’t really know. Truly I don’t.
I know that I haven’t in ages felt anything strongly – be it joy, sadness, happiness – whatever – because I honestly haven’t had time to think about it.
My prime concern is making sure the logistics of work, children, school, extra-curricular activities, gym, laundry, groceries and cooking are in place and actually come together so that the wheel’s don’t fall off of the 16 wheel semi-trailer of my life.
I know that when I get into bed at night, it’s been a good day if nothing’s gone wrong, no-one’s been late, the washing’s hung, people are fed and lunch for school the next day’s been made. And it’s been a really good day if I’ve managed a gym workout at 5.45am and have another one planned for the next morning.
I’m operating at what I perceive to be an optimum level but on an emotional level could it be that I’m lagging way behind in the achievement stakes?
What I do know is that I covet every minute of time that I am left in peace to quietly read a book or check my social networking sites. And when someone interrupts me, well, clearly I’m not hiding my displeasure as well as I thought.
My question to those out there feeling similarly is really, how much energy can one person expend doing it all? And can we be expected to be happy all the time when what you really want to do is throw yourself down in a heap on the floor and say “I can’t do this anymore because I am scared I will get sick and die I’m so tired”. [But really, who’s got time for that anyway?]
So while I indulge in my pity party of approximately six seconds I remember that there are people out there that are doing it tough. That are worse off than me. Mothers that walk for miles to get fresh drinking water for their children. Mothers that walk miles to get medical care for their children and mothers that are doing it all on their own.
So I guess I should put a smile on that face, shelve the irritability and go and apologise to my husband. Yes people, there’s a first time for everything.
Happy Easter Weekend and to my Jewish friends – happy Passover – if matzoballs aren’t making you irritable, nothing will!