OMG how is it possible to be so tired and still operate heavy machinery? Angels and demons, thats how.
It’s the universe balancing itself out you see. For every evil and demonic action there is an equal and opposite angelic reaction that ensures that the world doesn’t spontaneously combust on its axis.
There’s a God people and he cares nothing to bitchslap your good self if you are demonic. It might not happen straight away – for example if you behave like a shit towards someone, you will not immediately get hit by a truck. But sometime, somewhere, you’re going to meet your punishment. And even if you dress yourself up as a good person let me tell you for free that no-one is buying what you’re selling. Because in addition to there being a God, no matter how clever you think you are, people are not blind or stupid. Amen to that.
There were a few disappointing incidents last week. The first real let me down was someone who regularly (but not with grace) does me a favour each year with some event decor for fundraising events. It’s the annual grovel to get some lights but I do it because I do it. However, this year, the gent in question decided to give me a particularly hard time and asked that I give him time to quote “chew on it”.
I hope its a sturdy piece of something he’s still chewing on after the fact because the lovely Chris from Decorations Australia made sure I had what I need forever going forward for the princely sum of $350 (including delivery). And speaking of delivery – this angel of a man made sure that the order I placed on Thursday morning reached my office in Sydney by lunchtime Friday all the way from the Central Coast. A kindness from a perfect stranger as opposed to ill-will from someone who isn’t. Shame on you again. I don’t think your mother would be proud. Not at all. And that bitchslap coming your way – enjoy douchebag.
The second incident involves someone I don’t know but who should be more than ashamed of her behaviour. I have spoken often about bad driving habits of people dropping their kids off at school. On Friday morning another mother was too impatient to wait for my kids to get out of my car – one was hefting her new state of the art Fender guitar with much care out of the back seat – it was too big to fit in the boot where the school bags were located. The woman then proceeded to shift her car into reverse to back up to then swing round me. My kids at this point were on the sidewalk about to approach the rear of my vehicle to get their bags. And that’s where the angel stepped in. Because the woman had mistakenly put her car in drive, and floored it. Her car rolled towards an inch of my bumper. And my kids didn’t do as they usually do – they had stayed on the sidewalk. The security guard monitoring the gate went whiter than a ghost. The woman drove off. Not an apology, not a backward glance. Nothing. Shame on you. I’m wondering what kind of hurry she was in and what the rest of her life might have been like if things had gone differently. Not to mention ours. I hope her bitchslap equals that of the aforementioned