Not a post about the whip whip nae nae

I long for the days of old. Not because I am struggling to whip whip and nae nae (note I said struggling, not completely giving up) but because things are sometimes so complicated.

And yes, I’m going to have a good old-fashioned whinge here about technology and social media.

In the olden days there was really one line of communication between you and a person – the telephone. And you would use the telephone to arrange to get together or just chew the fat. On the odd occasion you would run into the person randomly which was sometimes opportune, or not.

If you did not want to run into a person it was still relatively simple – particularly if you were at the shops. Do you remember those freezers they used to have in the supermarkets without the covers and you had to lean into them to get your frozens? My mother had a friend that used to say she jumped into the freezer if she was shopping at the Pick ‘n Pay and she was trying to avoid someone. All you had to do was stick your head deep in, put your bum in the air and you were practically invisible. Voila. Problem averted.

Aside from the freezers (which they don’t have anymore) – this social media thing has fucked things up royally. Chances are that with any given person in your life you are connected (over and above your one on one personal relationship) on social media (I’m talking Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram primarily). Now hitting that unfriend button on Facebook is a very confronting action. Because if you are a prolific user of social media you know that they are going to realise you have unfriended them. After a few days they are going to say, did (insert any name) die? And then they are going look you up and realise you no longer appear on their friend list and then they are going to realise that you have unfriended them. And you don’t want the drama (if there was to be any). You just want them gone – like poof! because you simply just don’t want them knowing your business. The Artist thinks it’s a lot of nonsense – he reckons a person should bang that unfriend button like a boss. Bang that button like those Maddens bang that button when they do want someone on The Voice. Same same but different. Unfriend – boom!

And let’s talk about this mobile phone thing. You are totally stuffed because you simply cannot delete their number from your mobile phone because (if you think about it):

  1. what if they phone you?
  2. what if they phone you and you actually answer?
  3. what if they phone you and you actually answer because you don’t know it’s them calling?
  4. what if they phone you and you actually answer because you don’t know it’s them calling and you have your friendly voice on?
  5. what if they phone you and you don’t answer and then you phone them back because you don’t know it’s them calling? (because you are a complete psycho and it kills you when you don’t recognise a number on your phone of a call you have missed…….).

Are you starting to see the problem here? It’s a bloody minefield people. A bloody minefield. And what if they sms or whatsapp you?  *cringes*

So much easier in the olden days when you could just jump into the lean-in freezer. And when your body could actually whip whip and nae nae. For those of you not aware of the whip whip nae nae click on the video below. You’re welcome.

Any creative solutions to these first world problems welcome.

Love and light.

Lauren xxx


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