For reasons known only to myself I was trawling on Google for “today in Jewish history” and came across this gem.
1980: Jean Harris murdered Doctor Herman Tarnower, the Scarsdale diet doctor.
Now, for all of us part-time or full-time fatties, I highly doubt whether there is one amongst us that has not been exposed to the Scarsdale diet – either through an insane parent back in the 80’s or perhaps even embarking on it ourselves. Let me tell you, it made the Lemon Detox look like a pussy.
And hence (good Lord, did I just say “hence”?) when I saw this, my immediate thought was that Jean Harris had clearly been on the diet for two days, hence (again with the hence) her murderous actions.
Because people, starvation causes aggravation. Like action and reaction…..
It can even happen when even mildly starved. Like today. When I did a spin class at 6am and then didn’t immediately shove some carbs down my piehole because hair needed to be washed and the offspring had an orthodontist appointment at 8.15am. You do the math between 6am and 8.15am and work out what can and can’t be accomplished in that time space when you are in a group exercise class for 45 minutes and include a hair wash and some travel. And then, as we were leaving the house Miss12 asked where the newspapers are. The what? The newspapers. Because she had a paper mache project at school for D&T and they were making the paper mache in first period. In this house, we have landed somewhat in the 21st century and are reading our news online. Enough said?????? Nearly losing it entirely, I was saved by the kindness of the owner at the Seven Eleven on the corner of Canberra and Oberon Streets in Randwick. May he be blessed with many, many customers. The mad look in my eye must have signalled serious instability at 8.45 in the morning as he handed over old copies of the Telegraph. Again, many, many customers for you sir.
However, there is nothing that a second piccolo latte and a chocolate rugelach from Kurtosh cannot fix. Two blocks up from the aforementioned Seven Eleven I pulled over because the Offspring were now whinging about hunger and coffee withdrawal. First world problems.
To go back to the beginning of the story, I am not entirely sure whether it was Jean Harris or the good doctor of Scarsdale who was Jewish but it’s probably not important. What’s important is that I imagine I would have murderous thoughts if someone created a diet without piccolo latte’s and rugelach. Which is possibly also why I will always have a wobbly behind. Oh, and did I mention the chips? There is no life worth living without chips. And wine. Yes, wine.
Love and light