The Tickle

Now ladies, this one could possibly be for you.

Last night, after a day in the sun, (we took Koda to a dog beach with no restrictions other than that we have to drive an hour out of Sydney to get there, so that he could frolic at will with other dogs fortunate enough to have totally insane owners.  We come from far and wide – Penrith, Parramatta, Maroubra – all with the same goal of a stellar day out for the dog.  As I type this it sounds madder and madder.), I was finally in bed with a book, ready to sleep.

I requested that The Artist should tickle me to slumber.  Yes, you heard this correctly and I am quite certain this takes place in homes other than my own.  Well, was there excuse-making I can tell you.  “My arms are tired” were the first words out of his mouth – after he moaned “oh no”.  I pointed out to him that I know for a fact that his arms lift stupid weights every morning a hundred times over.   This prompted him proudly telling me that yes – 300 deadlifts (whatever that means) this morning.  I told him that hence his argument was invalid.  If he could do 300 of those he could certainly tickle me to sleep.  I was not asking for sexual favours, merely tickling on my back.

Look at those biceps – problem with tickling? I don’t think so………. The dog pic is just a bonus.


The tickling was done without much enthusiasm.  And just as a side note, men need acrylic nails.

I then revisited this business idea I have had for the longest time that The Artist has vetoed.  I want to open a Tickle Parlour.  Yes, you read this correctly.  A place where you can pay to go and get tickled.  On your arms or on your back.  There will be absolutely no sexing in Lauren’s Tickle Parlour – it will be a place of good repute.  Because everyone knows that it’s kind of a bum deal for the tickler and a good deal for the ticklee.  I suggested a nice little terrace place in Paddo all done up with a peaceful thing going on.  No boudoir style.  The accountant in The Artist told me that in no universe would this be a viable business.  I think he might have mentioned that it would only be viable with sexing.  Sigh…………..

I can tell you for free that if such a place as Lauren’s Tickle Parlour existed I would buy gift vouchers for my people – birthdays, mothers days, fathers days, anything really.  Who doesn’t love a tickle?

Back in the day I used to make my brother tickle me with one of these……


Yes – it’s an affro comb.  Heaven.  But this was a more structured thing because siblings take no crap from each other and it was strictly timed – 10 minutes for you and then 1o minutes for me.

So, if anyone wants to invest in a Tickle Parlour – you know where to come and find me. And there’ll be no tickling of your fancy.

Yours in tickling

Love and light

Lauren xxx




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