The flight from Sydney to LA was almost uneventful up until a moment in the last 45 minutes when the cabin crew and I were lounging around the back of the plane talking nonsense and the toilet door I was leaning on opened, because there was a lady inside exiting. Now any of you who know those toilets and their doors can only imagine what happened next. Yes, me and her practically fell into the toilet. The crew were useless because they were collapsed laughing and I was useless because I too was collapsed laughing. The lady from the toilet, not so much. Me and the cabin crew boys agreed it would have been the best story if we’d both actually fallen into the toilet. Never a dull moment.
Fast forward a few hours later to dinner at Joes Pizza on Hollywood Boulevard. A dude is hovering at the window. Joe goes out back to the kitchen, dude walks in and appears to put his hand over the glass partition. I look at him and there’s that “oh no you don’t” moment and he grins and walks out. I go back to my slice, reassured that I have averted a crime. Well, it was not to be. Five minutes later, dude reappears, casually looks me straight in the face and swipes two slices from over the partition. I’m too busy finding space between the pizza and my windpipe to draw air and yell pizza thief and by the time I have capacity he is gone gone gone. Joe reappears and thinks I’m choking on his pizza because the gulping and gesticulating. I have truly never.
It made me feel somewhat better that one slice made it’s way to the homeless guy I saw a block away returning to the hotel. A block later I came across the pizza thief munching on his slice with a mate. As you do. It’s takes all kinds my friends. And bless, this land of the free has them in all shapes, colours and sizes. It’s an insane assault on the senses being surrounded by this much life.
Love and light