Love in the Air

So the Finn’s have embarked on an epic journey back to the mother country. Flying via Dubai, as you do when their airline offers you a most ridiculous deal. And at the time 26 hours didn’t seem that big a deal. (Note to self: 26 hours flying time is a fucking big deal).

The journey was not without its entertainment. On the Sydney-Dubai leg, we were seated on the backside of the plane, with a single lady opposite us with three chairs to herself. Yes, three! Cow.
I hoped that she was an aid worker returning to some post in Africa and that she would relish the opportunity because she deserved it. Because that’s how my stupid mind works, the universe aways gives back.

The woman was strange, she was up and down and up and down and then she disappeared to the standing area behind us. By this stage I was aggravated beyond myself because – three seats! – and I would have chopped off a pinkie to just lie down and sleep. We heard her chatting and laughing and there were multiple bottles of wine being consumed and then Miss14 informed me that she was having a small cocktail party with a gentleman in the standing area. No, fucking, way. But as it turns out, yes, way.

She totally picked up on the aeroplane. Totally. Yes, she found a boyfriend in the air.

What I have not mentioned is that this woman had the wildest, thickest, blondest hair you ever did see. The epitome of a bad hair day – that was her. Her being able to find a bloke with that hair, on a long haul flight in crappy navy blue trakky daks just plain astounded me.

In the interim, a very large Pacific Islander gentleman came to sit in one of the seats as his baby girl had been screaming consistently for over an hour and the wife was trying to settle her across two seats. Perfectly acceptable.

My eyes and ears (Miss 14 who was in the seat directly opposite) then informed me that about seven hours later the lady had returned to her seat and instructed the poor bastard trying to get some sleep that he was to return to his seat as she now had company. I simply could not!

There was then hooking up with the aeroplane boyfriend both under and over the blanket. A bit national geographic for the kids. A trip to the bathroom had some flabbergasted air hostesses also marvelling at her picking up prowess. It has to be said that the whole thing was rather extraordinary.

This obviously also kept my Miss14 and Miss11 entertained running commentary on the situation.

The final conversation went as follows:

Miss11 – they’re untangling their earphone wires together. Sweet.
Me – yes, while she’s licking his ear
Miss11 – what do you mean?
Me – look, her tongue is in his ear. Cleaning his ear if you will….
Miss11 – well, that’s a bit intimate.

Yes it was. They smooched till the plane touched down and then I have no idea what became of them. I was terribly tempted to interfere and ask about the story. But truthfully, I think they met on the plane, hooked up, got drunk and that was that.

Interesting times these, interesting times.

The Artist would not let me take a sneaky pic of the two lovebirds for the blog and Miss14 told me it might be illegal. Party poopers that lot.

Love and light
Lauren xxx

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