Epic meltdown tonight at the Chez. Because I am so very very tired. So tired in fact that I didn’t even bat an eye when I was told to go upstairs to bed at 8pm because I was clearly miserable.
I agreed and bolted, full washing basket in hand that I dumped next to my bed and will ignore probably for 24 hours.
Truth be told I woke up shitty. Woke up in the sense that I got three hours sleep last night once I had been woken by Miss11 coughing. Did I mention that I have been up three nights running with The Artist coughing his lungs up through his throat? Now I know that this is not their fault – I am not a complete psycho from hell. But my God, I am beyond exhausted and at 1.30am this morning when I saw that The Artist had chugged all the cough mixture (not that it helps) and that I had nothing for Miss11, well, let’s just say that it set the tone for start of the very early day.
And you all know those days. When you have a 7.30am start. When you feel guilty because you don’t drop the kids at school. So you get up at least half an hour earlier to do the lunch so at least you don’t feel guilty about that. And then the breakfast meeting requires you to sparkle slightly but you are so tired. And the coffee shop seems so loud. So very very loud. Because it’s one of those days when you really need to be in a quiet dark compression chamber without any stimuli whatsoever.
I held it together through the afternoon. I probably appeared totally normal. But tonight, well, tonight was another story. When I was juggling a dog that wanted to eat everything in sight, unloading a dishwasher (I fucking hate unloading the dishwasher btw), chopping up stuff really small for “mexican” and all the while my people were watching Big Brother and going through the mail. Well, that’s a recipe for, yes, an EPIC MELTDOWN.
Have bathed, ranted through the blog and will now bunker down and watch Sons of Anarchy.
I know that right now I am amongst a cast of thousands of moms (working and not) that are feeling exactly the same way. Because, fuck, it’s just hard sometimes.
Tomorrow will be better.
Love and light