Some people are truly, in their own minds, a legend in their own lifetime. They are somewhat brighter than the rest of us, or so they think.
The Artist, bless, has taken to punctuating his sentences to me with the words Dum Dum. Like a fullstop, but not.
With me being the Dum Dum, I was interested in the following:
His business partner Ray told him that he can chop down a tree on our property and just leave it outside on the pavement for the council to collect. A whole tree. As if. Go ahead and see what happens, why don’t you. Particularly the cutting down the tree part with your limited tools. I’ll be the Dum Dum sitting on the beanbag filming it while it happens.
The Artist informed me that his PA thinks he know EVERYTHING. He’s like Google and Wikipedia roled into one little Eddie Maguire package. I truly am the luckiest girl alive. Perhaps she is going to come and help him cut down the tree?
The Artist profusely washes the area where a pimple grows to stunt its growth and remove its presence from his face. I wonder whether all the qualified dermatologists in the world know this trick?
Now here are some things that I know. The Dum Dum would do things differently. For a start, she would get a professional tree company to come and remove the tree. Entirely. From the ground and the property. (The Artist also mentioned that when they cut out the tree they leave the stump – because they cannot remove the stump. There’s a logic in there somewhere Eddie Maguire).
The Dum Dum does not pretend to know everything or even put that on her cv so she is perceived to more intelligent as opposed to less if cornered with a tough question that she happens to get right. It also lessens the risk of exposure if you know what I mean.
And last but not least, when the Dum Dum gets a carbunckle on her face she squeezes the crap out of the bastard thing so that it goes away immediately as opposed to wasting soap and water over the course of 4 days. This also highlights a point relating to this month’s water account that has skyrocketed apparently. Bad skin aside, it took the Dum Dum to point out that perhaps, maybe, it had something to do with the recently installed watersystem that is keeping the grass green.
I leave you to draw your own conclusions about Dum Dums and the like.
Perhaps next year Santa can make me Wikilicous?
Love and light