Today I’m prepping for a standard procedure where my good doctor of the stomach gets to look up my rear and see what’s going on inside my intestines.
I’ve only done this like a million times but the trauma is fresh with each undertaking.
The day itself is a non-event. Surprisingly.
The day before – not so much.
The prep. The drinking of the Picolax to make sure you are nice and clean inside – no words.
This morning’s episode was not without a roadblock. The stuff exploded out of the mug all over the kitchen counter. While The Artist yelled about doing something, all I could do was stand there with my arms flapping with “oh, oh, oh” coming out of my mouth.
Return journey to the chemist necessary – obviously – and thought I’d talk the lady behind the counter into giving me a tablet form recommended by my doctor friend Miriam. Only problem was I couldn’t remember the name of the pills and the old battle ax was not buying what I was selling. “You do what your doctor told you – or they’ll send you home”. Like that would really be a punish.
The Artist was not taking any chances second time around and recognises the lack of scientist in me. He left a beer mug on the counter with the appropriate amount of water next to it in a jug. He called me to tell me that if I had read the packet I would have seen that it said effervescent. Apparently this means it explodes if the water is poured to quickly into the too small mug. Perhaps they should have explained this in more detail. You think?????
The packet is also filled with other lies – like it will take approximately 3 hours after the first dose for yadda, yadda, yadda (I won’t draw you a word picture here). 10 minutes people. 10 minutes. Imagine if I believed everything I read (like effervescence) and I went gallavanting to the shops for 2 hours believing I had a full hour to get home and batten down the hatches. That would have been another explosion in the wrong place I do believe.
I’m going to wrap up the overshare now and go and watch me some Season 5 of Breaking Bad between toilet trips.
Yes – that there is my throne. You know where to find me today x