Last week in a first for me in 42 years, I lost my voice. It was croaky and felt disgusting and I sounded like a Trannie. I would have made a fortune had I had a 1-800 number for the week. Opportunity lost.
As with everything and my take a panadol and carry on philosophy I was quite convinced of a 24 hour turnaround. So five days later I saw the doctor for an antibiotic because it had indeed turned around and travelled down towards my chest and I was coughing up pieces of lung.
Now all this is actually a complete digression when it comes to the heart of this post.
The real problem with losing my voice is my inability to yell express myself. As you all know – I yell express myself a lot. A lot. More than most. And while you may think it’s just my uber personality – it actually goes deeper than that.
Back in the day in 1997 I got sick. I’ve had Crohn’s Disease since I was a lighty (this is South African for child) and had experienced long and good remission periods. But it came back with a vengeance. And I couldn’t shake it.
With the help of some amazing doctors we established how important nutrition was when I was sick and how equally important exercise was – to reduce stress – which the medical profession thinks is responsible for this bastard disease but they can’t prove it either way.
When six months later I was clear I took stock and made a decision that has defined me for the rest of my life.
They can’t prove whether stress is the culprit or not. But if you know your body like I know mine, one thing I can tell you for sure – if you internalise every bit of crap that flies your way – it’s going to fester inside – in one way or another.
I decided I wasn’t going to let other people make me make myself sick. So I always say what I think let it all out.
If someone upsets me – it goes right back at them. I’m accused on not being very strategic in my behaviour or verbal repartee but I’m looking out for number one – that’s me (by the way). And for those that think I have the worst fuck off attitude you’ve ever come across – I probably have – and I make no apologies for it. But the lovelies on my team – you know that your back is covered – because no-one gets away with shit in my world.
Now going back to this voice thing – I didn’t realise how much I really yell let out – and when there’s no voice to get it out there – there’s a whole lot of stamping and hand gesturing. A cupboard door may have been slammed
off it’s hinges very hard. Text messaging was my saviour – and I know sometimes you shouldn’t put stuff in writing – but hey – better than cortisone going in both ends for six months. (this is perhaps a bit of an overshare)
I’ve been well for 14 years. Sometimes very unpopular. But well. So live it like you mean it people. And stay well. It only happens once.