The Grinning, the Dimplings and a small bitching about casino rules

A trip to the dentist is never just a trip to the dentist for some people.  Usually the guy is able to afford an overseas trip the month after he sees me.  I think his receptionist waits about one minute for the nod after the x-rays have been taken to call up the travel agent.

Hello? Yes, it’s Dr Tooth’s nurse – two tickets first class to Dubai please.

And then there are other people who go for a filling and come home with a just a mouth guard.  Bitches.

I don’t think this is as cost effective for the good doctor as a root canal – one is economy, the other first class all the way.

What’s in the box? But a mouthguard of course.

Which brings us to the yellow box positioned not on my side of the bed.  This prompted the obvious questions from Miss9 which were greeted with a grunting about a “mouthguard”.

“Oh”, says Miss9 knowledgeably , “So you’re grinning in your sleep?  Georgia’s mother also grins in her sleep.” So then I imagine The Artist and Georgia’s mother lying in bed grinning in their sleep.  Yup – grinning and grinning.  [Not together obviously which really would not be funny at all].

A grinning Susan Boyle – I totally see her grinning in her sleep

Miss9 stalked off  – she’s not one to take being the butt of a joke lightly.  A bit sensitive that one.  Me howling like a banshee and laughing and snorting like may have been a bit uncalled for, but like my mother says, you can’t buy a laugh like that sometimes.

All those people grinning in their sleep I have no clue how the dental industry is making a living on such happiness.

We’re also keeping the orthodontistry sector well covered.

Miss12 has dimplings – not to be confused with dumplings.  The dimplings are when you smile.  Our dimplings are costly things which are complimented by a $8500 worth of metallic doo-dabs.  We hope that she graces the cover of some magazine one day.  A small return on investment is all I ask.  Just saying.

And just as The Artist got over the shock of the first wave, the second wave has hit.  Miss9 too has a mouth worthy of an inbred.

A bit crowded in there I think.

Ka-chang!  Another $8500 going to the industry.  We’re taking two for the team on this one. That place is like a casino – the odds are always stacked against you and now the dealer can play 22.  22? WTF – Yes – digressing – but Crown Casino – I’m talking to you – Cheaters!*

So to those of you with kids not yet in the No Frown Zone – because all they want to do is smile with their almost $10,000 teeth – pay off your mortgages quick – the tooth tsunami is coming.

*The only greater shock we’ve had recently aside from the cost of the additional orthodontic work needed was during last weekend’s trip to Melbourne when we discovered that BlackJack as we know it is no longer – the dealer can play 22.  Really Crown Casino – really?  Kerry Packer must be turning in his grave. And you can bite me with your five card draw.  Bite. Me.

21 – the number is 21. Not 22 – no matter how you spin it.


  1. Diane

    My future . . . thank you. I will start a new savings account on Monday (will shop this weekend knowing it may be my last!).

  2. leanne moss

    I better also start a savings account… for the non-existent children to be. thank you barbie, thank you.

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