Powering home from soccer practice this afternoon, come 5pm with daylight saving no longer, things are somewhat murky.
I spotted a new bump in the road. Love a challenge – headed straight for it and when I was almost upon it realised it was a cat. A beautiful blue British short hair. Having a full on sleep in the road.
There was swerving and children screaming.
I was told that due to my almost murder I had to loop three blocks, circle back and see if the cat was
c) dead in which case I would have to remove it from the road because it was still in near perfect condition (no thanks to almost me)
The pressure was extreme so I looped, pulled back round and it was still there….
Now I’m not squeamish about anything aside from IV lines and dead animals. I’m scared they’ll seep.
So I double park flush in front of the cat to protect it from oncoming traffic (like myself). It still hasn’t moved. An inch.
I get out. The crowd in the back of the car is roaring their approval. I’m like Harries on Bondi Rescue. Or Dr Chris on Bondi Vet.
I approach. The cat doesn’t move. I’m having a truly oh shit moment here. It’s dead. No movement.
Desperate times, desperate measures. So I do the “here kitty kitty kitty” thing and it moves and stretches and yawns. The crowd goes wild. It’s got quite a mouth of teeth on it. And impressive claws.
But it makes no move to get out of the road. So I figure, what’s the worst that can happen? It can scratch the crap out of my arm or bite me.
I flex and bend and go to pick it up. It’s not as furry as I thought. It’s one big fat heavy cat – perfectly happy to be lifted out of the road and onto the pavement.
The crowd is now laughing hysterically because apparently it was quite funny to see me powerlifting this cat.
My random act of kindness for the day.
And no amount of crowd pressure was making me hunt down it’s residence and return it to its owner which I am certain lived in the house outside which I double-parked and conducted my “rescue”.
Along with the crowd in the back of my car, they too were probably laughing their arses off at the Blond in the platform heels and skinny leg jeans, bum akimbo ‘rescuing’ their state of the art feline in 5pm traffic.
Let that be your happy mid-week image to carry you through.