Someone posted a great message on facebook yesterday. It went like this:
At this time of year, with love and Christmas cheer abounding, I’m not going to rise to the occasion and actually run a list. You know who you are, you fuckers. For some of you, I already know what’s coming and I hope you’re ready. The universe responds to evil and it willbite you in the arse as the door hits you on the way out. Enough said. To those of you lovelies who have made this year sunshiny and wonderful and have made me smile, even when I wanted to cry – I love you more than you know and you have a friend for life.
Some special mentions with love are necessary though. The Big O – who is systematically burning his very own hole in the ozone layer above our house. I will appreciate the sub-zero aircon one day when I am menopausal. Promise.
Miss9 – to answer your question, your money is not with Westfield or Medibank. It’s with Westpac. Your father’s money is primarily with Westfield. Miss12 – for the love of God I’m begging for mercy. I’m not ready to be the mother of a teenager. And I’m not allowed to bash you for your mood swings or lock you in a cupboard for a few hours. Because therapy is expensive and ongoing. Your father would prefer that we spend his money at Westfield. (refer to point above)
The MomandPopShop – again, for the love of God I’m begging for mercy. I knowyou don’t have early onset Alzheimers, so stop pretending.
To Villa Maria and Absolut – thank you for providing some much needed support at 5pm most weekdays.
The crew at the gym (including our beloved Mad Mel) – you ladies rock. And it’s a tough thing to do at 5.30am. You seriously rock.
To shop assistants everywhere. The customer is queen. Think the people at Napolean Perdis might have learnt this the hard way yesterday when they “dissed”my friend Kat. Merry Christmas morons, the people at Lancome thank you, to the tune of $400.
To those I am playing Word with Friends with – I am completely crap. However, I will spend the next four weeks of my vacation studying the game, inside out and back to front. “Klonimous” – get ready for 2012. I will beat you one day, yes I will. And last but not least, to the crazy team at the office. The Big O does not understand the amount of time we keep in contact with each other outside of work. I have tried to explain to him that the family that plays together stays together. He thinks Words with Friends is pushing it (see above again) and is worried that you think I don’t have a real life. Both he and I assure you that I do and that in my real life I play Scrabble, old school style, with the family. Sometimes I even win. All bases covered I think.
On that note, I hope that Santa and American Express provide you with all that you need over this festive time and that no airline goes on strike to bugger up travel arrangements for much needed holidays. JetStar – I’m looking at you to keep it clean over the next few weeks. Thank you in advance. Merry Merry – Christmas, Chanukah – whatever floats your boat. Be good to yourselves and all those around you.