A year ago I welcomed Precious into our home. At the time, I didn’t realise that Precious was going to be quite so precious.
She is a supreme machine that cannot be left within range of anything at all. This creates major problems when taking her on outings. More often that not, we leave her at home, safely resting in a darkened room.
The paramaters around Precious are strict.
No parking in amongst other cars – she must be parked between two poles or far, far away from other vehicles. Lest she be scratched by a stray car door or trolley.
Precious cannot go to Bondi on a Friday night – anything can happen. Seriously. Anything.
Precious also doesn’t go to my parents house in Maroubra on a Friday night. No argument there – those people in the ‘Bra get rough on the weekend.
There is no eating in Precious.
You can’t put your make up on in Precious
The boot of Precious is for golf clubs. That is all.
You can only access Precious from the drive way not the garage as you may bump a door on the garage wall. Rain, hail or 50km an hour winds.
Do NOT touch the radio in Precious. It is NOT your car.
I am also NOT allowed to drive Precious. This may be related to a parking snafu I had with Precious’s predecessor (who was 3 months young at the time) and came bumper to headlight with a pole in an underground parking garage.
There was panicked talk of Bunnings and touch up paint. But even I know when to face the music.
As I walked through the door, the Big O looked at me and said, what did you do to my car? I’ve had a sick feeling in my stomach since you left. You did something, didn’t you? (They have a connection, these pieces of steel and the Big O). I nodded, handed him the keys, grabbed the beach bag and the children and headed for Clovelly Beach.
Where I stayed till the sun went down.
However, someone got sloppy today and left his keys and Precious at home tonight as he is going gallavanting with his office team for their annual Christmas party in the city. Did I mention that under NO circumstances can you drive Precious while a few drinks to the wind?
The Temptation to take Precious on a real outing and pop her Friday night Maroubra cherry! I could swing past Bondi, get an ice-cream for the kids to eat in the car and touch up my make up on the way to my parents. Imagine the shock when the Big O arrived home, semi-sloshed, opened the garage, and there was no Precious. Gold!
The question is, do I have the courage to play with Precious? It’s looking for trouble……….isn’t it?