So, just when nothing significant has really happened during the week or weekend and I’m wondering WTF I’m going to write about this week, I roll into the MomandPopShop on Fathers Day and hit gold.
See, the mom is slightly aggro because she’s been in all day and is crazed by cabin fever. The pop is chilled, because it’s been Fathers Day and the mom hasn’t had the gutzpah to harass him to gallivant via bus, ferry and foot into the city to “get out”. [Unless you leave your postcode, it’s not “getting out”.]
But it’s still all good and I’m optimistic that I’m going to leave the happy home without having to perform mediation or referee a boxing match. [They each have a personalised set of monogrammed gloves for “when all else fails”.]
With my tea I am offered a Weight Watchers Tropical Yoghurt Snack Bar something or other. (My mother has been a devotee of WW for the better part of 30 years, I kid you not). I decline. So the Pop pipes up that I am privileged to be offered the Weight Watchers Tropical Yoghurt Snack Bar because he’s not allowed to eat them. Of course that begs the question as to Why? And this is when the bells went off and we hit the jackpot!
The logic is as follows: when you are not dieting and quote “eating every bit of crap in sight” you are not deserving of the Weight Watchers Tropical Yoghurt Snack Bar. Now I get this, yes I do. Particularly if they have discontinued them or if you are shipping them via rowing boat from the Ukraine or Norway. But when they’re not…….and you have four boxes totalling 24 snack bars sitting in the cupboard…….Really? Really? Yup, really. It’s was two for the price of one day last week at the sacred WW meeting, so two plus two equals four which equals 24 bars……………and not one to share if you’re NOT DIETING.
So there you go – Aldi’s Almond Fingers for you Fatty Chops. Whoops, forgot – you only bought those in case someone came for tea – but the someone, her children and her brother don’t eat the almond fingers. Ahem………………
If you’re planning to swing past my parents home for tea this week – unless you profess to diet – you cannot, repeat, cannot have the Weight Watchers Tropical Yoghurt Snack Bar but you can have the Aldi Almond Fingers (if there are any left).
And if your forté is couples counselling, this one’s for you. Sucker. (Contact me for address details and availability if you are brave enough to take these two lunatics on).
And my parting shot for the day is from Barney “Sharing is Caring” people. See the video, live the moment and share the fucking Weight Watchers Tropical Yoghurt Snack Bars for crying out aloud.
And if all else fails Dad, get the woman out of the house on a sun shiny day – she will then perhaps, but only perhaps, share those snacks with you on the bus or ferry into the city. Here’s hoping.
P.S And by the way Dad – I haven’t forgotten about the serviettes – No Siree Bob! That’s next. Stay tuned……….
P.P.S This was not a sponsored post but in hindsight perhaps it should have been – yes, I’m talking to you Weight Watchers.