I am completely unafraid of Wednesday because Tuesday was the bastard of the world. Yup – to quote one of my favourite expressions, yesterday sucked dogs balls. Truly.
And today – well, it started with a 5.15am wake up because Miss 12 is off to camp in the tropical heat of Canberra and I am stressed that she is going to be out there in the freezing cold (read airconditioned bus that might veer off the road and crash in this shitty wet weather). And of course I had to kiss her goodbye (smother her with a bearhug) and beg her to take money for the vending machine in case she should die of hunger (read: need chocolate). Of course I was admonished and told that they are not allowed to use the vending machine. I have no idea who’s child she actually is because nothing on this earth would have (or ever will) stood between me and a good motel vending machine. I clearly haven’t raised a rebel of any nature.
Speaking of rebellion, the man upstairs is also having a bit of a day……I have a large event tonight at a venue not ideal for these cyclonic conditions – at this point I am wishing for a mega corporate budget so I could’ve hired the Four Seasons with its undercover valet parking. The thought of 500 women battling street parking in the Eastern Suburbs, not working so well right now. However, not for profit beggars, can’t be choosers. (Note to Him Upstairs: I’m working for charity for heaven’s sake Man – cut me some slack).
And to top it all off, the real doozy of the day is that my hair looks like crap and I’m going to have to spend the next hour washing, blow drying and then straightening it. All for naught because when it get’s a whiff of that moisture out there – rebellion is going to strike it’s heart and I am going to look like one of those girls from Pretty in Pink circa 1990 whatever.
So, all round, I got through this post without mentioning that yesterday I had murder in my heart and plotted with my friend Jeremy how we could knee cap a few people. The strategy was that he would hold them while I swung my baseball bat. (He got to hold because he is stronger than me and I got to wave the bat because the gun control laws in this country are ridiculously up tight).
Now I just have to figure out how I can get out of a business lunch today, get the sun to shine, the rain and wind to stop and the temperature to stay up at 20 degrees tonight. It should all be fine.
So yeah Wednesday. Bring it. I got you covered.